That time I felt I was gonna kick the bucket

 I know it's raining and it's cold as heck. To top it all off, I'm not feeling so swell, if I'm being real honest. So what am i doing outside? Right. To keep an appointment. (I have this sinking feeling that I'm gonna kick myself later for this decision tho...)

From the moment I got off the train, it's becoming clear that this ain't no typical stomachache or whatever. This is starting to morph into something really terrible -- the same kind of pain I had that one time many years ago. The first time I felt like I was dying. 

I'm not even kidding man, it was THAT bad. I just hope to God I'm wrong about it  this time.

I was not.

Five minutes later, I'm cancelling my appointment and frantically making my way to the restroom. I'm feeling faint and my body can't seem to decide if it wants to take a dump or throw up. So just to cover all my bases, and not to look like a zombie standing by the sink, I get into a stall and brace for what's to come. 

Ok, so tmi, but yeah I did take a dump. That's how I know this is prolly a case of food poisoning. I mean, my body is trying to get rid of whatever it was I recently ingested so that seems to make sense right? 

The stomach pain is still on level 9 tho and now I'm seriously considering my other options.

Am I gonna be here for hours until I cant take it anymore and I finally call for help? 

Should I call for an ambulance? What do i even tell the medics? 

Am I gonna pass out here in this dirty public bathroom stall?!! 

But tbh, the cleanliness of my immediate surroundings is far from my mind at the moment. And so is the possibility that there might be a line of people outside waiting to use the toilet. 

Let them wait dangit, I'm literally dyin over here.

What on earth did I just eat that messed me up like this? God, I don't wanna go out like this, please... I still have a lot of stuff I wanna do with my life...

At this point I'm just sitting slumping like a drunk on the trash can by the corner, waiting for my vomit reflex to kick in coz i can already feel it coming..

...

The clock ticks by as I seemingly go in and out of consciousness, just barely aware of the other people moving outside my stall. I'm not sure if it's been an hour already or more. But finally I feel normal enough (i.e. not feeling the urge to vomit) to stand up, gather my things and walk out.

It's finally over. I'm alive.

 

**flashback to some years ago...**

I was living in a sharehouse with a bunch of workmate-turned-friends when one night I just got this absolute stomachache that drove me to our main restroom. Thought it was just a routine dump-and-go but nope, it was just the beginning of a long, agonizing night for me.

Fortunately, no one stumbled upon me writhing in pain just outside the main bathroom after I threw up multiple times in the sink. I was prolly on the floor for a good half an hour or so. I was afraid someone would notice me and make a fuss like calling a hospital or something, but nothing of the sort happened. Everyone was busy with dinner, thankfully. 

They started coming in just as i was able to drag myself to a nearby couch. I then promptly passed out, looking to all of them like I was just exhausted from that day's work. Close call. 

That was prolly one of the most painful moments of my life (like, literal horrible physical pain). I promised myself then: never again.

Then today happened. Facepalm.

But yknow what they say, nothing like almost dying to make you appreciate life more, right?