The HeArt of War

I'm leaving today. As I was packing my bags this morning and double checking for the last time, I spontaneously typed a text message and sent it to everyone ( basically saying that I'm gonna leave this afternoon but I'll drop by at NIA so if anyone can come to say goodbye that would be great ). Idk, I guess I just wanted to have a proper farewell before I leave for good. This wouldn't have been an issue if it were not for the strong typhoon that's currently bearing down on our city. Because then, the Sunday worship service wouldn't have been cancelled and I can see everyone anyway. But as it was, the morning service was cancelled and I was left with no choice but to try if some people can still come despite the strong rains/winds. I don't know what people expected ( food? haha sorry guys ) but what I was thinking was just to see them and then say goodbye and then go and wait for the bus. xD But it soon became apparent (to Edjan, at least) that t...

The deadline that almost cancelled my 'study in Japan' dream altogether Okay, it was my fault, too. I totally did not mind the deadline for the tuition exemption application because all the while I was thinking that I won't have to deal with it until I personally arrive there in Handai. So imagine my surprise when I just randomly checked the webpage of the tuition exemption this afternoon and discovered that the online registration for it was about to end in 2 hours! 0_o To say I was dumbstruck was an understatement. I sat there facing the laptop with realizations coming over me wave after wave... Why did I not take note of the deadline for this? If I had not seen this today, I might as well not push through with my studies. (Because it's an application to exempt me from paying the very expensive tuition, I probably won't get my family's permission to go if I wasn't able to apply.) I would still like to marvel at how miraculous the whole thing w...

Guys, mapapatawad nyo ba ko?  Maniwala kau, I just cropped and saved the edited pic at ung original lang ung dinelete ko. Really. (Sobrang nakonsensya nman ako dun ... ung isa kc jan mukang iiyak na e, hahaha) -- I came late on purpose but somehow Kuya Marvin and Dave they still managed to find out that I was already there, just chillin in the kitchen with Kuya TJ, Poleng, Kristian and Edj.  So in the end, I still found myself in front of the whole youth service congregation while Kuya Marvin announced to everyone about my upcoming trip to Japan. I have no idea what my expression was the entire time I was up front (because I was busy chewing the bread that's in my mouth haha). Was it surprise? Awkwardness? A get-me-out-of-here look? XD Aw man, idk...being in front is definitely not one of my strengths. But I'm thankful for the prayers ^^ Especially when Kuya Romy mentioned something about my being a missionary there as well, apart from being a student. That...

Well, let's just say I didn't expect this evening to turn out the way it did XD Bro, you almost made me cry. No seriously. First off, people often stopped me to say goodbye and stuff which totally made the thought of leaving sink in to me. Edj even gave me a shirt and told me not to forget him T_T Then when Poleng found out that I'll already be going home tomorrow, she hugged me so tight I had to back off and plead " wag mo kong paiyakin " hehe.. Even Junex already thanked me for everything and reminded me to study well.   What's up with people trying to make me cry, huh? *teary-eyed* -- Birthday celeb Anyway, we managed to pull off the cake surprise well after LAYF. I asked for help from Meg and Pia to get the cake while Merry Joyce made sure Kheyna (the birthday girl) waits by the stage. We even had to light the candle several times because it keeps on getting blown off XD  Unfortunately, singing Happy Birthday while holding a...

It started as a mere what-if . After our respective cellgroups last night, Neil said that he's really looking forward to having more cell members. Well, what if we share the Gospel? We can start right after we had dinner! Honestly, even I was surprised that he readily agreed. XD But thanks to that, the habit of sharing Jesus to other people has started again.  And so, after eating dinner and doing a little review to brush up on the outline of the Gospel, we went out to fish . For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 6:23 We met Christian who was sitting alone in USSC at that time and Neil shared the good news of salvation to him. Turns out, he's a Baptist Christian and he has heard the Gospel shared to him many times. I told him that perhaps God just wants to challenge him to do the same or just remind him of His love.   Afterwards, we walked around for a bit more until we passed b...

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience . Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity ." Colossians 3:12-14 It was not what I envisioned it to be. It was real life after all.  But I thank God for that trip -- for every tiring, peaceful, fun, frustrating, comforting, happy, stressful, fulfilling minute of it. When we were planning for that 5-day Holy Week trip, all I could think about was how fun and exciting it would be. I could ride a ferry again and go visit a beach and explore new places. Cool. But God wanted me to get more than that. It was funny how each of our temperaments would clash -- Dan with his impatience and (over)perkiness, Ronnie with his blatant irritation and I with my tendency t...

It's hard to pretend everything's fine with you when actually something's bothering you right? Idk. Maybe it's just me. At first you can still shrug your shoulders and say "no big deal" and believe it will eventually pass. After all, you have faith. Then before you know it, you're already neck-deep. But being the "mature" person that everybody thinks you are, somehow you just always end up crying on to God about it. The thing is, God seems silent too. Well, you've heard it before: The Teacher is always silent during a test. Knowing that doesn't make it any easier though. You still long to hear a clear word of instruction from Him because, you know, you don't want to return to the old you who just decides on her own. You want to consult Him now every step of the way. (Dare I say,) why couldn't He make it easier for you to know His will? God is sovereign.    His grace is made perfect in weakness.    Be thankfu...

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love , I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal .  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love , I am nothing . If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love , I gain nothing . - 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

10.30 pm. I was so tired. So hungry. Just got back from practice and I can't believe I couldn't even muster the strength to eat in alumni anymore (or was it because eating on a plate does not seem appealing to me at the moment?) despite desperately craving for food+cold juice for hours now. So it was with a heavy heart that I trudged to main gate to wait for a jeepney home. Aside from the frequent buses and trucks racing their way to and fro, there's no jeepney in sight so while I was waiting I had no choice but to do the next best thing: ponder about life. XD No seriously. As I looked around the lifeless space around me, I can't help but think how this will be a far cry from the life that I will have once I start studying abroad. I'm guessing I won't have the liberty to linger outdoors this late in the night as I'd be busy doing schoolwork/part-time job by then. I don't think I'll get as much alone time there either. So even when I was real...

Will you still say "faith" is at work when you are asking for all sorts of signs and evidences that your prayer is going to get answered just as you want it? I wonder. Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for , certain of what we do not see . I know God has given me several promises about my studies abroad. But as things go rocky one after another, I found myself asking God for assurance time and again. God can You please give me another word from You that this is going to push through? Can You please let me know if I should take this step or not? If I have faith God will come through, why all these questions that seem to imply doubt? Is it not enough for me that God said it will happen that I need to be assured every step of the way? Turns out, I still have a lot to learn about stepping out in faith. Woe to those who draw sin along with cords of deceit, and wickedness as with cart ropes, 19 to those who say, "Let God hurry, let him hasten h...