ISANG HAKBANG LANG NAMAN ANG KAILANGAN

    

Sabi nila, "Those people who love to see, draw or take pictures of long, continuous roads are the ones who have a better outlook in life -- usually hopeful or courageous ones -- because roads portray forward movement and destination." 

    Habang patuloy kong binabagtas ang daan sa aking paglalakbay patungo sa aking patutunguhan, hindi ko maiwasang lumingon pabalik sa nakaraan kung saan ko binuo ang mga desisyong nagturo sa akin patungo sa kinalalagyan ko ngayon. Sa bawat paglingon at panandaliang pagmumuni-muni ay malalim na buntong hininga na dala ng mga saloobin na may halong pagsisisi. Pagsisisi hindi sa mga bagay na pinaninindigan ko pa rin hanggang ngayon. Kundi sa mga bagay na kung maibabalik ko lamang ang kahapon ay mas pipiliin kong mag-isip ng hindi lang base sa emosyon at katayuan ko noong pinili ko ang hindi ko na ikinatutuwa ngayon at piniling hindi piliin ang mga bagay na asamin ko man ngayon ay habangbuhay ko nang hindi mababalikan.

    Ako ay tila pakunwaring naglalakad lamang sa tinatahak kong daan. Dahil sa bawat pag-angat ng aking paa upang subukang humakbang, ito ay bumabagsak lang din sa dati nitong kinalalagyan. Ang bawat tangkang paghakbang ay pagpapakita lamang na ako'y ay humihinga ngunit hindi nabubuhay; gumagalaw ngunit matagal nang nakahimlay.

    

    Maaaring naiwanan ko ang aking sarili sa parte ng daan na hindi ko kayang bitiwan. Kaya hanggang ngayon ay nag-aantay pa rin na inaantay ko ang aking sarili bago muling pasulong na humakbang. Sabi nila, "Hindi naman masamang balikan ang nakaraan, lalo na kung may mga aral na pwedeng matutunan." Pero parang may mali, dahil sa aking pagbalik sa nakaraan ay nakita ko ang aking dating sarili at hindi ko naiwasang mainggit. Paano siya naging masaya habang ako ay nahihirapang magpatuloy pa? Bakit parang ...

Itutuloy.

What is that to you?

Song of Solomon 5:2-8

The groom knocked but had gone out. The bride opens the door but found him not. She called and find her beloved but the watchmen found her. The watchmen who intended to guard the city and protect its people. They were the one that abused and took advantaged of the bride.

What does it pertains? Where is Jesus in the passage? Every book of the bible points out to the One and only Saviour, right? If He is the groom, why did He knocked and leave? Why did He turned away and allow the bride to be taken advantaged by the most trusted people? 

Where are you watchmen? Why instead of guarding and warning the people of danger, you were the one who do harm to those who are weak? 

I don't know what it means but it brings hurt to my feelings. Grieve and sadness that visited my heart. Asking, why these things were needed to be happened? Why the people were so wicked? Why they took advantaged of the weak and needy? Why this world was so wild and cannot be trusted? Why the Lord seems to left us? Why is He silent about this? Why did He allowed the wicked to flourished in this world? 

Why His grace were so abound? Why He still give chance to the wicked? Why He still give grace to the people who ruin others life? 

Why, why, why?

With this so much why, I'm still defeated. Though many why's and question that my hearts utter, I'm still have no right to be answered. 

Who am I to say this? Who is Jonah to condemned the Niniveh? Why was he angry and showed care for the plant that he did not created? Was not the Lord also care for His creation? If the wicked were forgiven, what is that to you? Are you not one of them or at once become like them? 

What if the Lord wants them to be save? Of course He will. What if the Lord wants them to be used in His kingdom greater than as you were used? What is that to you? Have you created the people and the world? Do you owns this world? Is there anything you can do to save the world? No, you were just a steward and servant. 

Your business is to follow and to serve Him. 

"Follow Him".

Freeze

 You are very cold like you are freezing, paralize and stagnant. You struggle about it and you cannot comprehend yourself or even control your own emotion and you are unable to lit yourself again cause your passion dies down. There is no joy in it but only a temporary happiness and pleasure. You know why? Cause you always grieve the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the fire that can only lit your passion to burn again. So keep the fire burning by being always filled with the Holy Spirit. Repent and do not be the lord of yourself, even you don't want to be controlled by others, don't always control the situation cause your wisdom will fail and your understanding can be a lie but what is revealed by the Holy Spirit is truth and lasting. Learn to submit cause you are not your own, you were bought at a price. The One who paid for you is the One that you can trust. His plan and purpose will never to harm you but to bless you and make you prosperous and successful.

Awaji trip (w hitchhiking)

After an exhausting long walk under the hot sun, we finally found an open eatery. 2018.

And then the miracle happened

The category changed from PROBLEM to SOLVED.

Today, I was planning to go to the dean's office and plead discuss with her about my situation, hoping that she can offer some solution. However, the office sent me a message to tell me that she just left this morning for a flight to the US and won't be back until the 20th. Well, there goes my so-called plan.

Thankfully, with God's word of assurance to me last Sunday, I am already at peace since then and even confidently went away for a free four-day Christian conference this week. And since I was due to meet a Christian friend this afternoon, I prepared to go out into the windy/rainy street without even as much as a doubt that God will surely deliver on His promise on the right day. I had no idea how but I'm sure He will -- somehow.

Perhaps the answer will come from my home church in the Philippines. This morning, I was talking to two friends from there and one of them said she will tell our leaders there about me and see if they can do something. So you see, Im not really that worried anymore because I knew God can use any of those people to help me. Or it could even be total strangers. Or something more unimaginable. It was just a matter of time.

Anyway, I arrived at my friend's house and we chatted for a bit about any updates these past few days. I told her a couple of friends already offered to lend me money but I didn't accept right away because: (a) I wasn't sure I can fulfill the terms that goes with it and (b) I was waiting for 'something else' to happen. That 'something else' I was waiting for was God's miracle, no matter how strange it was to say it at that time. xD

Then, my friend said they've been praying and felt like God was "leading them to give me this". ("This" being an envelope of cash.) Now, I already know that she wanted to meet to talk about my 'situation' and also mentioned that she wanted to help contribute so I wasn't that surprised that she would give me something. But when she said it contains 130k, I did a double take. 

My eyes knew what was happening before my mind registered it because the tears came first before the comprehension.

Okay, actually I was just crying for the next several seconds. I mean, I knew God would do something, but again, it's something I could not even imagine.

This is it. This is the 'something else' that I've been waiting for. It's done.

On my way home the first thing that came to mind was: "Who am I that You are mindful of me, God?"

 

But it didn't end there. I love how God is very exact. I remembered that three days ago, I received two other envelopes that contained a total of 4k. 130k + 4k = 134k. That's the exact amount I need for the tuition. I have no words, man.

--

Next episode: Scholarship. Her scholarship is ending this month and the new one she applied to has no result yet. Will she pass? She believes so. What if she doesn't? Then 'something else' will happen. All she knows is, with every miracle that she experienced, it's not that hard anymore to expect the impossible.

From Frustration to Peace

These past few days I was concerned that the helplessness and frustration I was feeling would turn into something worse so I fervently prayed for God to take them away and replace them with something from Him.

Thanks to His word of assurance yesterday, I am now more sure than ever that He will see me through this and will not let me down. Then there's His word this morning:

2 Thessalonians:

¹⁵ So then, brothers and sisters, stand firm and hold fast to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.
¹⁶ May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, ¹⁷ encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.

Finally, I'm listening properly now.

 

How God finally answered my prayer from yesterday

I just left church today still feeling down.

In fact, I was so down that during my train ride back I couldn't hold back my tears any longer and ended up having to wipe my eyes every so often. I had to lull myself into taking a nap just to stop myself from crying in helplessness.

God I resolved not to depend on any other people for this, not my parents, not my churchmates, not my friends. God Im calling on to You. Im entirely dependent on You on this. Please dont let me down.

I had to change trains at the central station and had a choice between the Express and the Local train. The Express one already has all its seats filled and as I was walking along trying to find an empty seat, I thought about just heading to the Local one where there are plenty of empty seats.

Okay, just one more and if I dont find any empty seat Im entering the Local train. Then surprisingly I found an empty seat! Cool. I entered the Express train but then I saw another empty seat inside. I dont know why but I headed to that other one instead of the first one I saw.

On my right was an old man reading some papers in Japanese but I can only make out some words in Katakana. I thought it was a script because I remembered seeing the name "Naomi" in katakana. After a few minutes, he packed his papers and then brought out a small book. The book was inside a black leather zippered cover and I remember thinking, wow that kinda looks like a bible. Interesting.
 

Then I looked closely at the heading and I saw the word "Jeremiah" in Katakana. 

It was a bible alright.
 

Well, what are the chances of me sitting beside an old Japanese person who reads the bible on a train ? 

His bible was turned to Jeremiah chapters 42 and 43 so I gamely opened my bible app and started reading in english.

Anyway, after reading I turned to him and asked (in my broken Japanese), "That's a bible right?"

"Yes."
 

Then I showed him my phone where I was reading in the english version. I told him I'm an international student. Then I asked if, by any chance, he is a pastor. 

He said yes.
 

Well, what are the chances of me sitting beside an old Japanese person on a train who turns out to be a Christian pastor? 

We chatted for a bit and I discovered that he goes to a church in Sakai-shi but he lives in Takarazuka. However, he said, he'll only be there until March because starting from April he will be at Ishibashi church. That sounds awfully familiar.
 

I asked him if, by any chance, he knows someone by the name of Cory Giesbrecht, one friend who is a missionary . 

He said he does.
 

Well, what are the chances of me sitting beside an old Japanese person on a train who turns out to be a Christian pastor who turns out to know a friend of mine?

--

By the way, those verses from Jeremiah that I read on the train? These ones:

Jeremiah 42

3 that the Lord your God may show us the way in which we should walk and the thing we should do.”

5 So they said to Jeremiah, “Let the Lord be a true and faithful witness between us, if we do not do according to everything which the Lord your God sends us by you. 6 Whether it is pleasing or displeasing, we will obey the voice of the Lord our God to whom we send you, that it may be well with us when we obey the voice of the Lord our God.” (God's previous instructions to me to cast all my cares to Him and rejoice and be thankful.)

9 and said to them, “Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, to whom you sent me to present your petition before Him: 10 ‘If you will still remain in this land, then I will build you and not pull you down, and I will plant you and not pluck you up. For I relent concerning the disaster that I have brought upon you. 11 Do not be afraid of the king of Babylon, of whom you are afraid; do not be afraid of him,’ says the Lord, ‘for I am with you, to save you and deliver you from his hand.

What's even more surprising was that those exact verses were already highlighted, probably when I was reading there for my devotion last year.

Click here to read how God delivered on this promise after four days.

#ToBeHonest: I am weak

I thought, okay this is a new day and Im finally gonna hear from God and it's all gonna be good. 

I was only partly right.

1 Thessalonians 5:

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

This led me to basically sulk for the rest of the day. I was disappointed because I felt like God won't even talk to me and tell me some words of encouragement. I know it sounds childish, but I was thinking that just any word from Him would at least keep me going in the midst of this crisis.

But no, the word I got from Him that morning was "Rejoice and be thankful". Hardly encouraging to me. In fact, I was literally like, God You gotta be kidding me... How can I rejoice? Im facing expulsion and currently not seeing any way to solve it. I dont even know what to feel right now.

I'm not gonna pretend like, okay then I will rejoice because You said so. I couldn't.
 

Or, okay Im gonna be thankful because You said so. I couldn't.
 

God this is so difficult. I know I dont have any right to complain because other people are suffering in much worse ways than me. But that doesn't make my situation any less painful.

The whole morning all the way to church, I was just mulling about that Word, thinking about how God has so high expectations of me for Him to instruct me to rejoice even though I was hurting. God, I don't know how.

My feeling was basically an alternate among numbness (I dont want to deal with any emotion now so I'll just choose to not care about anything), to frustration (This situation is just so annoying, what do they expect me to do, do i need to rob a bank just to get an education here?), to self pity (Talk about poverty cycle -- because I dont have money they wont give me education and that leads to less opportunities in the future).

I dont want to pretend like I understand what You're saying and what is happening. I don't.
 

Even though I know all the correct Christian response/s to this situation, I couldn't apply them. I was weak.

It was pathetic of me as someone who claims to be Christian to respond in such a way. And because I was so focused on my disappointment with God's refusal to talk to me, I couldn't encourage other people. I couldnt even listen properly to what they were saying.

 

At some point during the day I remembered about that line in a Christian movie that says "The Teacher is always silent during the test". Okay, I can accept that. But, I told God, "You are not just my Teacher right? You're also my Father." I was thinking, He should at least give me some moral support during this difficult time.

--

As I was going through the verses I read this morning for my quiet time, I noticed that I was so focused on the first set of verses that I completely forgot the 24th verse!

1 Thessalonians 5:

24 The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.

He did say He will do it. Again, I was just not listening properly. 



Click here to read what happened on the train ride home.

#ToBeHonest: I don't know what to do anymore

That message hit me like a truck. 

No, maybe more like a train. 

I was in disbelief. Maybe for them it was just a standard email to a student during a normal day at the office. But to me, it's like someone told me "Im sorry you cant pursue your dream anymore, it stops here."
 

I missed the deadline for paying the tuition in our university because, well, I don't even have 1/10 of the amount required. So even before the deadline, I already messaged our department head to give her a heads up and ask her if there is something else we can do about it. So far, no respone from her yet. But I did get an email from the admin staff telling me if I still don't pay tuition by the middle of March I will be expelled from school. No exceptions. 

That was the message.

My first response was: Um, God...?

Wala namang ganyanan o... 

I was suddenly confronted with the real possibility that I wont be able to graduate, among some other worse things. Is it Your will God that I don't graduate? That I go and do something else? God please talk to me. Didn't You send me here on a mission? I literally don't know what to do about this...
 

The whole day today I was not my usual self and I just kept asking God to give me a Word -- to please talk to me in a different way. I know this sounds frivolous or too demanding but I just want to hear from You in a special way.

Before I slept tonight I did some audio editing and I realized, to my annoyance, that I made a mistake so I had to redo some part of it. I had to identify the exact point where I made a mistake so I can cut it properly that's why I listened to the mp3 again and marked the timestamp. It's at the 55-minute and 22-second mark. 55:22. That sounded really familiar to me and I quickly realized why. Because a couple of weeks ago we were doing a bible study and the verse Psalm 55:22 came up in the discussion. I opened my bible to that verse and this is what it says:

Cast your cares on the Lord
    and he will sustain you;
he will never let
    the righteous be shaken.

But this wasn't enough to convince me and I just went like: Yeah I know God but...what do we do about this problem?

Apparently, I wasn't listening.

Click here to read what happened the next day.

Come as you are

³⁸ As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”  - Luke 10:38-42

We were talking about this story of sisters Martha and Mary tonight and usually my kneejerk impression from this is that the personal communication with Jesus is more important than all the serving we can do for Him. You know, that thing about "good vs. best".

But tonight something new struck me as the others were discussing about Martha's being busy. Her hospitality is good because it signifies that she is (supposedly) concerned about the welfare of the Guest. Meanwhile, Mary was just sitting there listening to the Guest!

This scenario reminded me of this: When God tries to talk to me, am I pulling a Martha? That is, maybe I try to tell him to "sit on a chair while I prepare stuff IN ORDER to talk to him properly". Or maybe I flat out refuse to talk to Him because first I want to compose myself and look/feel like a proper Christian before we talk.

This time, it was as if God was telling me that Mary was right in just coming as she is. I dont need to "prepare" or appear acceptable just so I can talk to Him. (Besides, any change I could do will only be superficial and temporary.)

I can freely come as I am. Any time. No pretense. No putting on a facade. 

That's the time He can start changing me from the inside out. 

Because only He can.

Don't cry

 OJT and Thesis manuscript

I have a story before I've accomplished the OJT manuscript.

These happened on March 30, 2017.

It was 4:45 AM when I wake up. I came to the walking closet (prayer room) to pray and devote my time to the Lord until 6:15. I prayed for all the requirements that I have in my studies. It was very difficult for me to accomplish. I've wrote it in a yellow paper and prayed for it. I meditate on Luke 7:1-37 and there is a word on verse 13 that says, “don’t cry”. These two words strike me. The Lord impress to me that there is nothing impossible with Him. Tough the boy was dead on that chapter, the Lord Jesus still made him alive. He cares for us and don't want us to live in sorrow. We just need to give every concern to Him.

After having my devotion I send my realization through text message to my family and cell groups then I prepared to go to our college. My uncle "papa sime" replied on my text, he said, Praise God, I have my companion to reach out our family". 

During lunch break, I ate at our college canteen and my teacher maam Claire told me about my OJT. She said that she's not sure if she can send me to Sorsogon for OJT because of some reasons. I thought its okay, my second option is the BFAR-NFFTC nearby CLSU so that I may continue to meet my bible study contacts while doing the field practice or On the Job Training (OJT). Yes, I thought its okay but I still have that desire to go home at Sorsogon while doing the OJT because its almost one year since I've visited my own province.

After my class I went to the apartment. Daniel played a music entitled "This is my desire" and I follow the bit and the lyrics of the song. While singing, I prayed again my concern about going home. I looked on my calendar and its seems so impossible for me to go home if I will not do my OJT at Sorsogon. If that so, I will wait for another six months to go home. During the heights of my prayer I cried to God and remember my commitment to Him that I will serve Him, He is the one that will decide for me  and not my will but His will for me. When He said before that I will go to NCLS instead of going home, I go. If it is His will for me to do my OJT at nearby CLSU and not going home, its okay but still I have this desire to go home because I have too much load and pressure at CLSU. I want to take a little bit of rest on my home. While praying to God with tears, I remember what he said on my devotion  "Don't cry". Instead of stop crying, I cried all the more because I was overwhelmed with the Lord's message and instruction before the situation came. I praise the Lord and have the hope that He is in control, if He can raised the dead, he can also change the mind of my teacher.

Praise God, I'm on my home

with coconut and pine apple. Hehe

Praise the Lord on April 2, 2017 the Lord answered my prayer. My teacher allowed me to have my OJT on BFAR-NSTDC located at Sorsogon City.

Snow Encounters

Actually, I've seen snow before. Granted it was just very little drizzle-like snow in the early hours of the morning -- which, btw, I continually associate with my spectacular record of slipping down the ski slope (story below).
 

Anyway, this time I really appreciate the snow falling down from the night sky. Maybe it's because they were more visible now and quite stronger than before. Or maybe it was because I was in the perfect mood to appreciate it, what with all the walking-alone-on-a-deserted-campus-at-night vibe.

I was surrounded by white snowflakes falling down against the backdrop of the night sky. It was beautiful. I slowed down my pace and turned my face upwards, savoring the moment I was staring at the snowflakes.

Time seemed to have slowed down. And all I can say was, "God, thank You".

****************************************************************

All I can say is, I've never been so (literally) helpless in my life.

I did not expect that I'd relive my childhood years of not knowing how to even stand up right there in the middle of a ski slope in Kobe, Japan. Wow. It was so embarrassing. But I set aside that feeling cos all I wanted right that moment was to reach the bottom. Preferably in one piece.

All along, I was mentally kicking myself. What was I thinking, that (of all sports) I'd suddenly be good at skiing? Come on, it's a snow sport and a.) I've never seen snow before; b.) I was not a sport person at all. Enough said.

I probably owe my life to my friends who took turns giving me instructions that my brain/body just dutifully ignored. (This is why I don't know how to ride a bike, okay.)

But that's not to say that I regret going to that trip -- I actually had a lot of fun (never mind the falling down the ski part). I was able to ride a cable lift. I experienced a shower of (fake) snow. I stayed in a (not) capsule hostel. Been to China town. Saw a beautiful waterfall. Went to a pretty high tower and saw a sky-view of Kobe at night.

Honestly, face to face with that falls, I was just amazed at God's creation. And the fact that He gave me a chance to see it.

All in all, it was a good couple of days of traveling with friends. It's nice to have a rather embarrassing memorable first winter ever. Even though I'm pretty sure there were some people who were annoyed at that girl who can't ski to save her life.

Send me...I will go (Take 2!)

I'm leaving today.

As I was packing my bags this morning and double checking for the last time, I spontaneously typed a text message and sent it to everyone (basically saying that I'm gonna leave this afternoon but I'll drop by at NIA so if anyone can come to say goodbye that would be great). Idk, I guess I just wanted to have a proper farewell before I leave for good.

This wouldn't have been an issue if it were not for the strong typhoon that's currently bearing down on our city. Because then, the Sunday worship service wouldn't have been cancelled and I can see everyone anyway. But as it was, the morning service was cancelled and I was left with no choice but to try if some people can still come despite the strong rains/winds.

I don't know what people expected (food? haha sorry guys) but what I was thinking was just to see them and then say goodbye and then go and wait for the bus. xD But it soon became apparent (to Edjan, at least) that there's a need for a more organized 'farewell' so he kinda just announced on the spot some sort of programme. xD And he's now the self-proclaimed emcee. Okay then.

1...2....3...pose!

So as the strong winds and rain raged outside, everyone who came settled down in the kitchen. The whole time everyone was talking about their first impressions of and memorable experiences with me, I was actually trying hard not to internalize everything lest I end up crying. But I really appreciate you guys: Debby (thanks for the gifts), Lady (thanks for the shirt), Joel (you need a new dogtag now hehe), Ron (for that closing message), Sam (I still have your 'visa'), Dave (you'll get over that 'trauma' eventually), Dan (who was sick but still came), Josh (did u really cry?hehe), Edj (for the many reminders re learning bicycle and drums), Haj (for being ever supportive), Junex (for that sweet message, thanks bro) and Jaden (for the nice surprise of just being there).

What can I say, God is indeed FAITHFUL, especially in fulfilling His promises.

The ride was not easy. But it's all for His glory (my faith's maturity is only a bonus).

You will go out in joy
    and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
    will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
    will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,
    and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown,
    for an everlasting sign,
    that will endure forever.”
- Isaiah 55:12-13

Now, off to my new mission...

Of Miracles and Blessings

The deadline that almost cancelled my 'study in Japan' dream altogether

Okay, it was my fault, too. I totally did not mind the deadline for the tuition exemption application because all the while I was thinking that I won't have to deal with it until I personally arrive there in Handai. So imagine my surprise when I just randomly checked the webpage of the tuition exemption this afternoon and discovered that the online registration for it was about to end in 2 hours! 0_o

To say I was dumbstruck was an understatement. I sat there facing the laptop with realizations coming over me wave after wave... Why did I not take note of the deadline for this? If I had not seen this today, I might as well not push through with my studies. (Because it's an application to exempt me from paying the very expensive tuition, I probably won't get my family's permission to go if I wasn't able to apply.) I would still like to marvel at how miraculous the whole thing was but I need to get down to business asap... 

Needless to say, I breezed through the instructions and entered the online reg system at once. Then I hit another roadblock: 80% of the instructions and text on the forms are in Japanese! -_- It seems like they're really discouraging foreign students from applying to their tuition exemption program huh? Left with precious few minutes and very little choice, I decided to open a Google Translate tab and manually copy-paste every text beside text boxes that I need to fill up just to make sure I don't put my Name where it's asking for Address.

It was exciting, yes. But it was also totally scary. And embarassing (how such an important date slipped my mind) *facepalm*

Thank God I was able to finish the online reg barely 5 minutes before the deadline. Then I just sat there quietly for a few more minutes thinking how it could have gone a number of possible messed up ways but didn't. 

I could have dismissed the idea of visiting the webpage this afternoon. But I didn't. 

Or the electricity/Internet could have been cut. But it didn't. 

Which was why I was so blown away by God when that two gruelling hours was finished. He's so amazing. Now, I only need to send the hard copy of the documents by Friday, which would call for another miracle.

"... no weapon forged against you will prevail,

    and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.

This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,

    and this is their vindication from me,”

declares the Lord.

Isaiah 54:17

--

Cellgroup

Yesterday was supposed to be our CG but all of them wasn't able to make it to Admin until 7pm XD so I just rescheduled it for today. Who knows if I would still be here on Thursday, right? Anyway, thank God that even though it was raining real hard, Meg, Joyce and Kheyna were able to come. And amidst a bowl full of Clover and Peewee, we discussed the stages of spiritual maturity (among others). I gotta say, it was very comfortable having a CG there in the Sunday school area of the kitchen.

*P.S. Haj, I better not see that pic posted anywhere.

--

Then we went 'shopping'

Ate Jade has been telling me about all those clothes and shoes her relatives have sent her from abroad ages ago and how I should check them out to see if there are some that I would like to have. We've scheduled (and rescheduled) appointments of when I should drop by their house but something always comes up. So when we met again tonight after IPM she reminded me of it and I promptly promised I would come over there after a few minutes, just as soon as the raining lets up.

But it was already 8.40pm and it was still raining hard. And the surrounding areas has filled up with water that walking around wearing shoes was not something you'd do anymore. 

I was just about to debate with myself the pros and cons of such a trip to marketing when Dan (ever the proactive pusher) immediately suggested we should go for it. 

Um, yeah, what about the shoes that we're wearing? 

Borrow slippers from Ron and Den! 

Ookay. I relented. That could work. So we left our stuff (and shoes) at NIA and braved the flood/rain. I was thinking that we can sort of grab-and-go the clothes that Ate Jade will give.  But I would soon learn that it would take us a long time sorting through all the clothes. And sure enough, after a few minutes, Ron was already looking for us because a.) They're about to close the hall and b.) Den had to go home already. I'm really sorry for the inconvenience Den =/

After it became apparent that we would have to spent longer time than expected there, we just worked something out to get the slippers to Den and get our stuff from the hall. After all, it would be rude to leave when Ate Jade already had noodles prepared for us ;) With the looming concern now gone, we were able to comfortably sort through more shirts, jackets, pants and bags. We even had to go home via trike because we got so much stuff that it's hard to carry XD

I really thank God for all these blessings He gave us through Ate Jade. I could really use those jackets and shoes abroad. And I'm pretty sure the guys also appreciate the sack full of bags, shoes and jackets XD

“Come, all you who are thirsty,

    come to the waters;

and you who have no money,

    come, buy and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk

    without money and without cost.

Why spend money on what is not bread,

    and your labor on what does not satisfy?

Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,

    and you will delight in the richest of fare.

Isaiah 55:1-2

Send me...I will go XD

Guys, mapapatawad nyo ba ko? 

Maniwala kau, I just cropped and saved the edited pic at ung original lang ung dinelete ko. Really. (Sobrang nakonsensya nman ako dun ... ung isa kc jan mukang iiyak na e, hahaha)

--

I came late on purpose but somehow Kuya Marvin and Dave they still managed to find out that I was already there, just chillin in the kitchen with Kuya TJ, Poleng, Kristian and Edj.  So in the end, I still found myself in front of the whole youth service congregation while Kuya Marvin announced to everyone about my upcoming trip to Japan. I have no idea what my expression was the entire time I was up front (because I was busy chewing the bread that's in my mouth haha). Was it surprise? Awkwardness? A get-me-out-of-here look? XD Aw man, idk...being in front is definitely not one of my strengths.

But I'm thankful for the prayers ^^ Especially when Kuya Romy mentioned something about my being a missionary there as well, apart from being a student. That's actually part of my deal with God so I was surprised!

After the prayer though, I quickly returned to the kitchen to avoid any further 'exposure' hehe. But people still found me there with reactions ranging from surprise (Jasmine), sadness (Christian, Rose) and support (Haj) to it's-time-to-take-a-selfie (Kristian, Poleng ... everyone).

Right?

To be honest, I don't know how to deal with so many people trying to say goodbye to me T_T sorry Jasmine, I didn't know what more to say =/ And also because Dan has told me to hurry up a hundred times as they're already set to go. (I was expecting pizza so of course I'd hurry up haha.) Shoutout to Jaden, and to Joshua who told me he almost cried awhile ago hehe. Same to Aaron and Deejay who admitted to being more emotional than I was during the prayer. Man, I'm really gonna miss these people T_T

As soon as we got out the door, we quickly fled towards the gate (even if it was raining) because I didn't want to linger there and go on a drama about my departure. And again, because dinner is already waiting.

--

Thanks to the person who sponsored the whole dinner in Jollibee (not gonna say who -- it's better you just receive your reward from God than from people, right?). Also, thanks to Carlo and Junex for being there early, haha. And to Marvic, Nelson and Jude for being there even though they were late. Just kidding; it's no big deal. XD

Salamat sa mga kapatid ko (na hindi nakalimutan ang promise ko last year that I will take a picture with them just before I go) : Dan, Sam, Ron. Continue being faithful to the Lord.

What can I say, it was a dinner full of ... picture taking. And we even have such a strict cameraman/director *coughdancough* who was always chastising me for not smiling enough in the pics. We don't have the same level of expression for happiness, remember? =p  (And if you still can't move on dun sa 'nawalang' picture, there's Mark 11:25 hehe. Again, I did not do it on purpose guys. I really just cropped it.)
 

 You know, up until this point I was still hoping for a pizza.... XD

Then Ronnie produced a framed drawing from his bag. And my first reaction was: Huh?! 

I just couldn't believe they managed to get hold of a decent picture of me! They proudly said it's all because of an 'accident' with Google. Oh. They must have discovered the STI news page where my graduation pic was posted. And I was right *facepalm* Apparently, they were just messing around with Google search one day while trying to search for their names. And because I was just there near them at that time (imagine that!), they also tried my name and boom!  Note to self: Never underestimate possibilities (and the power of Google).

Ok na sana kaso kumanta nman kayo ng 'happy sendoff'....mejo nalungkot nman ako dun T_T    

Until we meet again ^^,

I make known the end from the beginning,
    from ancient times, what is still to come.
I say, ‘My purpose will stand,
    and I will do all that I please.’ 

 From the east I summon a bird of prey;
    from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose.
What I have said, that I will bring about;
    what I have planned, that I will do.

-Isaiah 46:10-11

I will miss this...

Well, let's just say I didn't expect this evening to turn out the way it did XD

Bro, you almost made me cry. No seriously.

First off, people often stopped me to say goodbye and stuff which totally made the thought of leaving sink in to me. Edj even gave me a shirt and told me not to forget him T_T

Then when Poleng found out that I'll already be going home tomorrow, she hugged me so tight I had to back off and plead "wag mo kong paiyakin" hehe.. Even Junex already thanked me for everything and reminded me to study well.  

What's up with people trying to make me cry, huh? *teary-eyed*



--

Birthday celeb

Anyway, we managed to pull off the cake surprise well after LAYF. I asked for help from Meg and Pia to get the cake while Merry Joyce made sure Kheyna (the birthday girl) waits by the stage. We even had to light the candle several times because it keeps on getting blown off XD 

Unfortunately, singing Happy Birthday while holding a cake drew a lot of attention and Kuya Marvin was instantly beside us with his cam. Of course they would insist on getting a group picture -_- And being the cell leader who's about to say goodbye in a few days, I had to oblige them. (Which got me in a lot of trouble later as some of my friends saw what happened and promptly chided me for not ever taking a picture with them. Uh-oh.)

#wishyouwerehere Armina, Lady and Debby

I'm really thankful though that we're able to have dinner together ^^ Thanks Pia, Meg, Joyce, Kheyna, Llyana and Tin!

--

Neil's fake-sounding-but-totally-genuine-laugh

Because we're practically neighbors now, Aaron, Neil, Kurt, Deejay and I often travel home together (but not before stopping by 7eleven). This time was no different as we found ourselves back to our favorite hangout place XD 

As expected, Aaron and Deejay have a lot of stories to share, especially when it's about Neil (apparently, Neil is easy to make fun of because he doesn't get mad). To be fair, Neil is really hilarious as he often fails to correctly hear what's the topic of our conversation.

For example:
Aaron: Kelangan natin bumili ng unan.
Neil: Ay, meron pa akong naiwang  bigas sa lingap!
(See what I mean?)

Or that time when Kurt lamented that they have an English exam the next day and Neil just responded with an apathetic "Aww".  *rofl*    He's quite the accidental comedian I tell you.

And as if that's not enough, he suddenly burst into his staccato laughter that sounds fake but is actually real. I still can't get over how contagious it was XD I don't know if it's because it sounded so fake and ridiculous or what but I just found myself laughing so hard my stomach was literally hurting. Aaron was also finding it hard to stop his laughter while Deejay had to go outside just to make the laughter subside. By the end of the laughing fit, all of us had teary eyes.

I'm afraid the people who saw/heard us tonight must have thought we're a bit drunk because of our antics and nonstop laughing. Don't worry, I won't even tell about Aaron peeing by a tree on our way home because he really had to go. I'll never ever talk about that.